Job-hunting is a lot like dating.
When you’re job-hunting or when you’re dating, you don’t want to come from the place “Please, like me — I beg you!”
You can’t be needy as a job-seeker or a person on the dating scene.
It is a losing strategy in both arenas.
Dogs smell fear, and people are good at sensing others’ emotions, too.
A desperate job-seeker might elicit sympathy from an interviewer but they will not inspire confidence.
Would you be excited to go on a second date with someone whose speech and body language conveys the message “You’re amazing — I hope I’m good enough for you!” Most people would not be excited about that.
We are drawn to people who are comfortable in their own skin. That’s the same posture every job-seeker must attain before they can interview effectively.
If you aren’t feeling confident right now, that’s okay. Get a journal and start writing down your Dragon-Slaying Stories — stories about things you did that made a positive difference at work (or anywhere else).
Spend time with friends who lift you up and limit your time with people who bring you down. Do what makes you feel good. Take a bubble bath or make your favorite recipe. Dance to a song on YouTube or paint or draw.
The only fuel you’ve got to power your job search or any adventure is your mojo — your forward energy and power.
You have to manage your mojo supply carefully, because a job search can deplete your mojo fuel tank quickly.
Here are five job search moves that signal desperation on a job-seeker’s part — and that’s not good!
1. Applying for lots of different jobs in the same organization. It’s a better idea to pick the job you are most interested in and/or most qualified for and pursue that opportunity first.
2. Spending your interview time talking about how badly you want or need the job.
3. Bringing past performance reviews to a job interview. Don’t do this — instead, tell stories about the great things you did at your past jobs, and get your ex-bosses to write LinkedIn recommendations for you. A job interview is not the place to pull out an old performance review.
4. Telling a recruiter or department manager that you’re happy to start at the bottom, take the lowest possible pay rate and work any schedule they might ask you to — even before they’ve asked the question.
5. As the interviewer describes the job opportunity, interrupting them to say “I’ve done that! I’ve done that too! I’ve done that for years.” Take a breath, take your time and wait for the opportunity to tell one cohesive story about how your experience overlaps with the job description, instead.
If you have noticed that you tend to grovel and beg at job interviews, here are ways to calm your nerves:
1. Get winded before a job interview by running up and down a flight of stairs a few times — enough so that you’re out of breath but not sweaty. This really works!
2. Practice your answers to common interview questions like “Why are you interested in this job?” and “What are you looking for in your next position?” so they roll off your tongue at the proper moment!
3. Take note of your surroundings at every job interview and pay close attention to your hiring manager in particular. It’s easy to forget that you must evaluate the organization and its people at least as seriously as they evaluate you!
Every interview will make you stronger. Keep in mind that you won’t grow your flame working for an organization that wants or expects you to beg for a job.
Those people don’t deserve you — keep your focus on finding the people who do!
More Info: forbes.com