Despite being a guy who doesn’t understand fashion or style, I love shopping.
My secret fetish is stationery. Show me a stationery shop, and daddy will make it rain like Jay-Z.
My house is filled to bursting with pens, pencils, post-its, staplers, highlighters, and notepads because there’s nothing I love more than buying an expensive notebook, caressing its creamy paper, then vandalising it with half-formed shower thoughts.
Buying useless crap is surely one of Capitalism’s greatest pleasures. So it seemed like manna from heaven when a paying client asked me to spend one day buying every single item that was advertised to me.
They were trying to make a point about consumerism or something. I didn’t read the whole email because they had me at ‘buying shit’.
Buying every single thing I see for one day? All expenses paid? Sign me the fuck up.
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