“Why should a relationship mean settling down? Wait out for someone who won’t let life escape you, who will challenge you and drive you toward your dreams. Someone spontaneous you can get lost in the world with. A relationship, with the right person, is a release not a restriction.”
It should go without saying but this is my promise to you, so long as you’re with me, your life will remain yours and yours alone.
I have never thought of true love as someone being there at your side every moment of every day, but being free, and encouraged, to pursue your own passions and to share in the spoils of your triumphs together. If you need to get away, then pack your things and go, send me a postcard, or don’t, it is entirely up to you. If you have to sacrifice some of our time together to acquire your dream job, then go on, good luck, we’ll work around it. You will always have my understanding and support.
I don’t feel a need to limit you to feel more secure or in control. And I will never be so pathetic as to perceive your successes as a threat to your commitment to me or our bond, but instead a manifestation of the powerful impact our love for one another has had on each of our lives. I believe what so many of us call compromise is more like consented confinement — a shared, illogical fear that if we don’t enforce a strict set of restrictions on each other we will inevitably lose one another to something more thrilling. That is not what I want for us. I will never ask you to sacrifice a thing in exchange for my heart. And if you ever feel the need to spread your wings, I will gently let you go.
My priority here is our happiness, that’s all. That we both lead vibrant, individually fulfilling lives and achieve and experience all we set out to. Petty possessiveness is a purposeless poison, and I will never allow it to sicken our love or the joys of life available to us. I promise to always respect your strength enough to know you don’t need me to wage your wars, but should you ever call on me, you can trust that I will be there. And I promise you will never have to plan in advance or bargain with me just to have a night out with your friends. Your friendships are as integral to the health of your spirit as our love and they will never be put second or made to feel like they are competing with me for the privilege of your company.
Let’s be independent together. Let’s approach our relationship from a place of what we can bring rather than what we can take. Let’s be near each other out of necessity not obligation. Let’s remain together not just because we made a commitment, but because we genuinely choose each other everyday.
Our being together is not the end of your story, it is only the beginning of its greatest installment. Our being together isn’t hanging up your hat, it is slipping on a party dress, shooting back a whole bottle of tequila, and heading out on the town to make mistakes and memories that last a lifetime. So go on and write your story. Be the daring, free-spirited, defiant, mischievous creature I first fell in love with. I don’t need to be your whole world, I just want to share mine with you.
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