To England fans it was the ultimate football fantasy. To viewers in Scotland and Wales it was a dystopian nightmare more hellish than ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’.
The BBC opened England versus Tunisia with an imagined newsreel a month into the future, Gareth Southgate’s World Cup winners greeted as heroes.
Well-pitched self-deprecation to England supporters, typical arrogance to everyone else.
The reference to Jamie Vardy ‘still having a party’ while Alexander and Arnold had become the most popular names for new births raised a chuckle – as did Ian Broudie struggling to rewrite the lyrics to ‘Three Lions’.
“Football’s… come… home,” sang the Lightning Seed, with enough charm to fumigate the screen before Danny Dyer wittered on about West Ham winning the World Cup in 1966.
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